Saturday, December 29, 2012

Much Ado About... Something? Question Mark?

Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay

On May 29th, 1953, a New Zealand mountaineer named Sir Edmund Percival Hillary and a Nepalese Sherpa mountaineer named Tenzing Norgay became the first climbers to reach the summit of Mount Everest. They were part of the ninth such British-led expedition to climb what the locals call “the Holy Mother” so they certainly weren't the first to try to climb it, but one has to imagine that a question they heard all the time from friends and family was “why?” “Why put your life at risk to climb a mountain?” “What is the point?”

That question was very eloquently answered by James Tiberius Kirk in the 1989 motion picture Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. Although Final Frontier was commonly regarded as “the worst one” by the Trekkies, it did offer a useful scene in the beginning in which Kirk is free-climbing the face of Half Dome in Yosemite National Park and Spock interrupts him to ask why he is doing it. Kirk responds by telling Spock “because it’s there.” This, of course, was a direct quote of the first person to ever attempt to climb Everest, George Mallory, who answered those words when asked by reporters why he wanted to climb the tallest mountain on Earth.

Perhaps "because it is there" is not a sufficient reason for climbing a mountain.

The point of all of this, and as an answer to your question “why is a beer blog talking about mountain climbing?” is that this spirit is commonly found in the brewing world.  Every once in a while, a brewer, in the name of accomplishment, creates something that has never been done before. It might be a new style of beer, or it could be a new twist on a beloved style. Or it could be a quest to create the world’s strongest beer, as is the case with the Scottish brewery known as Brewmeister.

Monsters always come from Scotland.
The lads at Brewmeister accepted the continuous brewer’s challenge and set out to create something that truly had some bollocks to it. They brewed a beer called Armageddon that literally weighs in at 65% ABV. Let me say that again as it bears repeating – 65% alcohol by volume. They did this by fermenting a normal batch of ale and then freezing it. Once frozen to a sufficient point (remember, alcohol freezes at a lower temperature than water), they removed the giant iceberg that was floating in the beer, leaving behind a super-concentrated liquid that, while still beer, was no longer recognizable by the beer community as something they would ordinarily consider in their calculations.

I have no idea what kind of distribution net the Scots have cast over the United States of America (I like to think it’s very limited), but I managed to acquire a bottle of this majestic brew from the beer fairy. The bottle in question was allegedly acquired in Scotland, along with a handful of other bottles, by a friend of a friend and sent to my friend, who couldn't drink more than one, so he gave it to me. You can buy a 12oz bottle of Armageddon at Brewmeister’s website for a whopping £60.00 (or $96.60 USD by today’s conversion rate), but as for buying it here in the States, all I can say is good luck finding it.

I’m not sure where the night I took on this monster fits into the grand history of heroes such as Hillary, Mallory, or Kirk, and quests like Everest or boldly going where no man has gone before, but I considered my challenge to drink Armageddon on equal pairing with Brewmeister’s quest to create it. And fortunately for you lucky readers, I have chronicled this quest, in real time, for posterity. I hope you enjoy reading my account as much as I enjoyed the event itself.

BLOGGER’S NOTE: The following portion was written as I was drinking a 65% ABV beer, in real time. Please forgive any spelling errors, grammatical nuances, rambling sentences, syntax missteps, or other things that just don’t make any sense. I have deliberately not proofread this bit, as an attempt to share the experience.

--

Hemingway wrote drunk... why can't I?
141700LDEC2012: Bottle opened – first 4 ounces poured into a snifter glass. The first thing I noticed upon opening the bottle and pouring it into a glass is that it has zero carbonation. None. That was a touch weird considering it is, after all, a beer. My first reactions to the smell and taste of this beer were that it was not terrible. It tasted and smelled of alcohol, but the flavor of malted barley were still intact and the alcohol, while certainly noticeable, were not so dominant that they ruined the brew. I would say that it wasn't “great,” as beer is supposed to be drank (not sipped), and this beer cannot be drank given its weight and warmth, but all things considered, it wasn't bad.

141745LDEC2012: 4 ounces gone – next 4 ounces poured into snifter glass. Warm feeling becoming pronounced. Synapses still firing – brain still functional. Gastro-intestinal fortitude still firm.  The beer still tastes good. In fact, I think it might be getting better. The sweet notes are playing very well off of the warmth.

This is closer to reality.
141820LDEC2012: 8 ounces gone – last 4 ounces poured into snifter glass. The bottle is empty, which is an accomplishment in and of itself. The warm feeling is now quite pronounced. Synapses are still firing, but I am having legitimate trouble typing… my fingers are moving pretty slow. Overall, I still have my wherewithal about me, but it’s noticeably deteriorating as we speak. The beer, however, is still very smooth and sweet. I can see the end of the tunnel. Just keep swimming.

141845LDEC2012: 12 ounces gone (as in, the entire bottle gone). I feel a weird sense of accomplishment, though I know that I’ll be nursing the rest of the beers I drink tonight as a result of this. Surprisingly, I don’t feel as buzzed as I thought I was going to… certainly tipsy, but nowhere near as bad as I expected. I suppose the lesson here is that beer doesn't pollute the mind as much as spirits. Or, perhaps the alcohol level of this beer was overstated… [scandal alert].

--

John Lithgow is not a nut-job either.
In retrospect, I can say without a doubt that this quest was a success. I can remember back a few months when I first read the press release from Brewmeister about their 65% ABV beer and thinking only in abstract terms about the distinctions of it - much in the same way we view the Loch Ness Monster or Sasquatch in terms of disputed photographic indications and convoluted accounts, but mostly as whacked-out stories told by nut-jobs who are looking for attention. Now, I have tangible evidence that I can share with all of you. Of course, I suppose another way to look at this is that I am now one of the whacked-out nut-jobs who is only looking for attention, and my story is nothing more than another convoluted account. Then again, I am a blogger, and at the end of the day, what is a blog but a venue designed to draw attention to nut-jobs who, otherwise, wouldn't have any - deep thoughts, by Jack Handy.

*** BONUS SECTION ***

As you probably already guessed, this has been the final blog post of 2012. It was a great year, full of intrigue, adventure, mystery, and tragedy… all of the elements of good story telling. But it’s over now. The next time we meet over the glowing screen of your computer or mobile device, it will be 2013. So remember to enjoy your New Year celebrations, make sure to drink good craft beer in the process, and with any luck, we’ll all meet back here next time renewed with energy and spirit, and ready to take on the next 365 days.

Here’s to craft-brewed happiness… and a Happy New Year… Cheers!

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Add a Little Craftiness to Your Traditions


Okay… now it’s time to panic…

Clock's ticking pal.
CHRISTMAS IS ONLY 3 DAYS AWAY!!!

Hopefully, your Christmas shopping is done and you are now enjoying family and friends, and attending Christmas parties. If you are not in this category yet, stop reading this post right now, read last week’s post about giving beer as a Christmas gift, go to your local beer store (or any other store where you can buy Christmas gifts) and finish your shopping already! This last bit was directed at my father, who has always been notorious for shopping right up until Christmas Eve night.

If you are finished shopping for gifts, it’s time to shift your focus to a few Christmas traditions that deserve to have some crafty spins applied to them. These are a few fun things that we do in our house that always make the holiday more cheerful and the time spent with loved ones a bit merrier. All of these ideas are fairly easy to pull off, which is important, because as I alluded to earlier in this post, we should all be in cruise mode by this point in our Christmas preparations. Don’t let the madness of the season ruin the fun of the season.


1) The stockings were hung by the fireplace with beer…

"No Billy, that's Mommy's stocking."
Imagine the delight on your loved one’s face upon discovering that Santa has left a bottle of beer in his or her stocking. Ordinarily, small gifts, gift cards, candy, and citrus are the stocking-stuffers of choice, but there is no rule that says beer can’t be included too. It’s small, light-weight, and most importantly, it’s awesome. Find a bottle of the recipient’s favorite crafty brew and… well, you get the idea. If you’re unsure of what beer to by, ask a fellow beer buyer at the store for suggestions of good beers, or pay attention to what kind of beer your loved one prefers. Or read last week’s blog post for more good ideas.

LAWYER’S COMMENT: The Sous Brewer is talking about adult stockings only. This blog does not endorse, nor condone, putting beer bottles in kids’ stockings. If you have kids’ stockings mixed in with adult stockings, make sure to pay attention to whose stocking you’re putting beer into.


2) Fuel for Santa…

You're welcome Saint Nick... you're welcome.
Tradition dictates that the appropriate gift for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve is milk and cookies. If I were Santa, and I assure you that I am not, but if I were, milk and cookies would be appreciated, but they wouldn't get me excited. Beer, on the other hand, is how you go from getting a nice present from Old Saint Nick to getting a legendary present from Old Saint Nick. If you think about it, it makes perfect sense – beer, particularly high alcohol varieties, is ideal for warming a person up on a cold night. What better way to keep the big man warm as he circumnavigates the globe?

My suggestion is barley wine. Barley wines are strong in flavor and alcohol, and have enough bollocks to them to ensure a warm feeling will follow. And since barley wines pair well with sweets and cheese, a cheese danish or piece of cheese cake would be the perfect accompaniment for the brew. If you pull this off, Santa will be sure to remember how good you were the next time he visits for sure. Then again, maybe he won’t…

LAWYER’S COMMENT: The Sous Brewer is not condoning drinking and sleigh driving, unless you are in fact Santa Claus. It is the opinion of this blog, its affiliates, underwriters, and endorsers that Santa possesses a unique set of skills that make him able to operate a sleigh while under the influence of alcohol. If Santa is reading this blog post, we want to remind him that under no circumstances should he allow Rudolph or any of the other reindeer to drink any of the beer that is left out for him.


3) Christmas dinner…

Yep, you knew I wouldn't be able to get through a blog post about holiday traditions without making a plug for beer pairing during your Christmas dinner. I will spare you the details, as I wrote a post on this exact topic about a month ago for Thanksgiving dinner, and the tips and tricks are pretty much the same. The most important thing to remember is that Belgian beer pairs perfectly with poultry, including your Christmas goose.


4) Christmas Day beer runs…

On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid, and Donner and Blitzen, and Steve, Jillian, Charlie...

I am not talking about waiting until Christmas day to realize that you have no beer and now you’re frantically driving around looking for a store that’s actually open. If you've been taking my advice so far (hint, hint), you should have plenty of supplies in the house to make your Christmas merry. No, I am talking about literally running outside on Christmas Day and incorporating beer into the festivities.

In my neighborhood, we have a lot of runners. We also have a lot of beer drinkers. A few holidays ago, someone got the idea to combine the two into an “organized” event where we all meet up, run around for a while, and then drink beer and sit around a fire pit enjoying each other’s company. It can literally be as easy as what I just described. Or, if you want to make your Christmas Day beer running event more epic, there are other options to consider.

1) Hash Run – If you’re not familiar, hashing refers to an international running/beer drinking phenomenon known as the Hash House Harriers. Essentially, they run through the woods, following a trail that is left for them by the lead runner(s) and stop from time to time at prescribed locations (pit stops) where they drink beer. After the course has been run, the runners all huddle around in a circle and drink more beer and enjoy each other’s company. It would require some pre-planning on your part, but this could easily be incorporated into a Christmas Day beer run event.

2) Make it a race – Community-wide race events are popular around holidays, and there’s no reason why they couldn't be incorporated into a beer drinking event. It might be difficult to get your community organizers to get behind a beer run, but that doesn't mean you can’t organize it yourself. Have prizes (beer) for the winners, but try to make it fun as well as competitive, and of course remember to include the post-race tailgating where you can sit around and have run.

3) Mud Run – This one might depend on how far south you live and what the average Christmas Day temperature is, but mud running is another growing trend that seems to revolve around beer drinking. Organizing a Christmas Day mud run, complete with plenty of malted-barley based beverages on hand, would make you a legend, and would guarantee that a good time would be had by all.

LAWYER’S COMMENT: It is important to remember that drinking in public places is not usually considered to be legal, and running around while drinking is particularly problematic. If you are going to engage in such activities, remember to do so responsibly and be mindful of local laws and considerations. This blog, as well as it’s benefactors, well-wishers, contemporaries, and silent partners, does not endorse or condone breaking laws in the spirit of fun or seemingly whacked-out holiday traditions.

So now you have some more ideas on how to integrate craft beer into your Christmas activities. This has been the final post of my Crafty Christmas series, so I would be remiss if I did not take the opportunity to wish you all a Merry Christmas - Feliz Navidad - Frohe Weihnachten - Joyeux Noël - Buon Natale - メリークリスマス - С Рождеством - Vrolijk kerstfeest.

Here’s to craft-brewed happiness… Cheers!

Saturday, December 15, 2012

It’s Time to Finish Your Christmas Shopping


Madness!!!
I don’t mean to alarm anyone here, but speaking of Christmas shopping…

CHRISTMAS IS ONLY 10 DAYS AWAY!!!  [Cue sinister music]

I’m here to tell you that if you have a craft beer fan on your shopping list, you couldn't be luckier. Craft beer drinkers are quite literally the easiest people on the planet to shop for. Why you ask? Because they want beer! I just solved your dilemma. Craft beer drinkers want craft beer to drink. This couldn't be simpler.

I’m writing from my own experiences, as I usually do in this blog, but seriously folks… beer is the perfect Christmas gift – it brings cheer, it is appreciated, and it never loses its appeal or is relegated to the corner of the room to collect dust. And as an aside, since this blog is written from my perspective, if Santa Claus or my beautiful wife is reading this, consider it my wish list.

The first thing you need to figure out is, obviously, how much you are willing to spend. Beers are usually relatively cheap (another reason they are the perfect Christmas gift), but can add up, especially when you are buying quality beer as opposed to yellow, fizzy, corn-based, industrial swill beer. You should walk into this thing expecting to pay at least $10 for a six pack of beer, or a similar quantity to price ratio. I know, this is a bit of a sticker shock to the newly enlightened out there, but remember, the beer is better, and better usually carries a higher price tag.

Beer people... all shapes and sizes... all makes and models... all smiles.

The next thing to determine is what kind of beer does your gift recipient enjoy? There are all kinds of craft beer drinkers out there: Hop Heads, Stout Hounds, Belgian Gurus, people who will drink anything as long as it’s crafty (me), people who care about ownership (this one will require research), or people who are new and are testing the water so to speak. There are multiple ways to figure out what kind of beer drinker your friend is, such as keeping track of what beers he or she drinks and giving something similar, or you could just ask.

The build your own six-pack aisle, or as I like
to call it, the onesies aisle
Now that you've handled all the front-end logistics, the fun can finally begin. I have said time and time again that I am like a kid in a candy store when shopping for beer… particularly when the store has a vast selection. Which brings me to my next bit of advice – find a store with a vast selection. Grocery stores are fine (and many of them are getting better) at stocking craft beer options, but what you really need is a package store or specialty beer store. Something like Total Wine if you've got access to them, or another store of that caliber. Not only will the selection be enhanced, but theoretically, the staff will be more knowledgeable too, which will come in handy if you are new to the craft beer universe as things can get overwhelming at times. Also, the clientele at a store like that is more likely to be crafty so they will be willing to help you if you need it… all you have to do is ask.

As far as what to buy, it really is up to you. These stores tend to have “build your own six pack” aisles, which are always a great way to go. Especially in a specialty beer store where the variety is seemingly endless, you could spend hours (and I have) picking out six beers to put into a six pack. And at an average price of $10 for that six pack, how can you go wrong. You could also go to the end cap of the aisles, where they tend to keep the rarities and seasonals, and get a bomber (22oz bottle) or two from that selection. Ask the folks around you if you’re unsure but these beers are usually extremely delicious and sometimes hard to find, which make them a perfect and very much appreciated gift for a beer lover.

Glassware for sale at the Shipyard Brewing Co
in Portland, ME.
Now let’s get you out of the specialty beer store for a moment and explore other, perhaps less obvious, options. When giving the gift of great beer, a great place to start is at the source. Depending on where you are in the world, there is probably a local brewery within a reasonable driving distance. Go see them. Breweries often times allow you to buy growlers of their beer directly from the source, ensuring freshness and awesomeness. This is a particularly great gift idea for many reasons: 1) Beer people love great beer. 2) Beer people love fresh beer. 3) Beer people love growlers. 4) Beer people love to support their local brewers and the local economy. 5) Growlers, like beer people, are very social creatures that naturally lend themselves to a party-like atmosphere. The list goes on.

Bloggers Note: On growlers – If you aren't familiar, a growler is a large beer bottle, usually with a flip top or some other kind of lid that can be resealed, that holds multiple pints worth of beer (depending on the size). They are sealed, but the seal is not perfect, and once they are opened for the first time after the initial fill, the quality of the beer inside begins to degrade. As a result of this, if you’re going to give a growler as a gift, be sure to buy it no more than a day before you intend to give it as a gift. Keep it refrigerated. Do not put it under the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve and let it sit out all night. Once it has been opened for the first time after the initial fill, you have a few days to finish it before it will be completely flat and not nearly as good as it once was.

An authentic brewery tour of the Heavy Seas Brewery in Baltimore, MD. The gentlemen in the foreground with the grey
vest is Hugh Sisson - owner of Clipper City Brewing Company and Heavy Seas.

Another gift idea that can be found at your local brewery is the brewery tour. Beer people love beer, and they love to see how it is made. It may surprise you, or it might not, but brewers love to give tours and show all of their faithful customers where and how the beer is made. It is a win-win situation for all involved, which is why virtually every brewery on the planet offers tours. A tour is usually very inexpensive (often times free), and only lasts an hour or so. The tours are guided, usually by either the owner or the master brewer, and during the tour, you’ll be given the opportunity to sample the goods. Remember to where closed-toes shoes, as it is a factory (though it’s a much cooler factory than your average factory). Consult your brewery’s website ahead of time for hours of tours and other considerations (whether you need to sign up first or just show up, price, etc). At the end of the tour, you’ll usually find yourself in the gift shop, which of course is the mark of a good tour. And this brings us to another opportunity for gift giving…

You are a baboon... and I am not.
Craft beer merch!!! Beer people love craft beer merch almost as much as they love craft beer itself. T-shirts and glassware are always appreciated because they facilitate the “story telling” aspect of the beer lover’s psyche. Brewery gift shops will have multiple options for glassware and t-shirts, as well as tap handles, stickers, hats, other apparel, and in many cases (depending on the state), beer! This of course takes us back to the beginning of this post and the gifting of great beer (it’s the circle of life) – but in this case, you bought the beer from the brewers themselves… taking the middle men right out of the process… take THAT vertical integration!!! Punks!!!

So now you have some ideas on what to give the beer nerds in your life for Christmas. It seems daunting, but it really couldn't be easier. Immerse yourself in our culture and ask for help. One thing I've preached on many times before is that craft beer people love to talk about beer and tell beer stories with fellow travelers (hence this blog), and they love to help those in need. If you show up at a specialty beer store or at a brewery and you find yourself surrounded by beer people, don’t be intimidated… they will talk to you and you might just find out that you belong among them. And as far as gift giving goes, again, there is nothing that a beer lover loves more than great beer… especially at Christmas time.

Here’s to craft-brewed happiness… Cheers!

Saturday, December 8, 2012

The Holiday Party


Keep the change ya filthy animal.
I don’t mean to alarm anyone here, but…

CHRISTMAS IS ONLY 17 DAYS AWAY!!!

As we are approaching the top of the holiday summit, our thoughts start to turn to holiday parties - some we are hosting while others we are just attending. Because of the traditions and norms of our society, many holiday parties are stocked with wine, booze, and a few cases of Budweiser for “those beer drinkers.” This, of course, is not okay. Those of us in the know will find the above selection disturbing, and subsequently will not enjoy ourselves.

What can we do about it you ask?

If you are the host of the party in question, it’s simple – offer crafty beer at your party. There are no rules that say a holiday party must have wine and liquor (and egg nog). Your party could be a craft beer only holiday party. Or, you could simply offer craft beer as well as the other things. You could even, if you wanted to be a truly gracious host, offer Budweiser, in addition to good beer, though I would not get a lot of it… try to convince people to treat themselves to better beer. In fact, I would go get crafty alternatives to Budweiser (light pilsner lagers or blonde ales) and sell them on trying something new… you may win a few converts this way.

I've come for your presents...
Another way to make your holiday shindig more crafty is to play craft beer related games, such as a craft beer white elephant gift exchange. Have everyone bring beer of their choice and set them all in the middle of the table. Then, everyone draws numbers and takes turns selecting a beer. If it’s white elephant, each person who takes a turn after the first person has the opportunity to steal from someone else. It’s probably a good idea to decide on a theme (local, hometown, seasonal, etc) for the beers ahead of time, or what size beer your guests should bring (bomber, six-pack, etc). For more tips and rules for how white elephant gift exchanges work, Google it.

Other activities that you could arrange in order to make your party more crafty (and better) are…

- Host a blind tasting where guests have to guess the style or brewery.

- Include trivia at your party with prizes from your local brewery.

- Have a silent auction for guests with a few rare or hard to find craft beers.

- Create beer and food pairings for your guests and have them vote for their favorites.

- Set up an educational display with different malts and hops, or visual representations of the brewing process, and information about your local breweries.

This seems like a great "everyday" kind of idea.
Unfortunately, if you are the invited guest and not the host, your options are limited. You could bring your own beer if you suspect that the host is not likely to have suitable options, but in many cases, that behavior would be frowned upon. At least, if you did it overtly. The key might be to covertly bring your own beer, by keeping it out in the car and “excusing yourself” whenever your glass is empty. You could also use the occasion to attempt to convert your unenlightened friends by adding the beers you bring to their beer cooler and “suggesting” they try it.

Of course, this only applies if your host has not already seen the light. If he or she is already a craft beer aficionado like you, bring your own beer, only this time, it’s not for you – it’s for them. Try to find something that you don’t think they have ever had before, or something that you know they love. You could also bring a craft beer related gift, for example…

Bomber (champagne) stoppers: For the rare occasion there is some leftover beer in that cork and cage-style bomber, this will help save the carbonation. Don’t use the vacuum-style pump savers, as they will pull the carbonation out during the pumping process.

- Textured glass drying mats: They may have a wine glass on the package, but they are great for drying tulips, flutes, and other beer glasses too! The raised texture of these mats allows for airflow into the glass while drying, preventing the build-up of aromas and condensation that a flat surface or towel would permit.

Label removers: Craft beer scrapbooking? You bet. This handy tool is basically a giant piece of heavy-duty tape that allows you to save a bottle label. If you want to go a step further, get them a scrapbook to put the labels in with room to add tasting notes.

- Bottle thermometer: To ensure proper serving temperature, these thermometers fit around a 750ml bottle like a wristwatch and digitally display the temperature, which is slightly classier than using your stick-on carboy thermometer. They also make ones for baby bottles that fit on 12oz bottles if you can find one without pastel baby animals on it.

Bottle chiller: Ever get gifted a bottle of craft beer that you’d like to drink right away, but it’s not chilled? Violá! The bottle chiller is here to save the day by chilling that bottle in a fraction of the time it would take the silly old fridge.

- Glass markers and charms: There are a plethora of different ones out there, so you can be sure to find some that are just perfect. Or better yet, make your own!

Cellaring tags: Bottle tags that make it easy to label, organize and locate cellared bottles. For the ultimate craft beer collector, cellaring tags are the perfect gift!

Everyone loves the gift of craftiness.

The bottom line is there’s no reason why your holiday parties need to be without craft beer. There are literally tons of options out there for pulling off a merry (and crafty) holiday season. Give the gift of great beer, and support your local breweries.

Here’s to craft-brewed happiness… Cheers!

Saturday, December 1, 2012

The Undefinable Christmas Beer

It means Beer of Christmas - we teach you beer and
French on this blog

Technically, it’s a misnomer, or perhaps more accurately, it’s a commonly used phrase for a style of beer that’s not really a style. Let me explain.

Last week, I set out on my 25 Beers of Christmas challenge, and I am here to report that I am failing miserably. I recall at the time, I opined that it might be a tad unrealistic of a challenge, and require a lot more front-end logistics than I was willing to commit. If any of you faithful readers are doing better than I am, please come forward and tell me your story… I will include it in the next blog as an example of what a committed steward of the crafty community can accomplish when his or her mind is put to the task.

But enough about my shortcomings. One positive thing that has come out of the 25 Beers challenge is the ability to compare and contrast different Christmas-themed brews side by side. Once I got past the delicious flavors and aromas, beautiful colors, interesting label art and naming conventions, I noticed something that had never occurred to me before: Many of these Christmas beers are of different styles, and furthermore, “Christmas” is not a style of beer at all.”

While a touch disappointing, I believe that in the case of Christmas or holiday beers, a lack of a set style is a great thing. In fact, from a holistic sense, craft brewers tend to really go wild with their concoctions this time of year. These winter seasonal beers are not often entered in beer competitions so brewers are more comfortable with throwing the style guidelines out of the window and just make a beer that they think their customers can enjoy. It’s the perfect way to brew beer in this brewer’s humble opinion.

Ian Malcolm is not impressed
Because I constantly try to apply order to a complex system, much to the chagrin of the Chaos Theory Community, I have developed three categories in which to lump Christmas beers.

The first category, and the only one of these that approaches being a proper style, is the winter warmer. The winter warmer isn't generally recognized as a unique style because its interpretations are as various as the breweries that make it. However, more and more winter warmer competitions are springing up in various parts of the country, so perhaps the “style” is evolving. Winter warmers tend to have a big malt bill, meaning that there’s a larger than normal amount of enzymes and other sugars thrown into the brew pot. This can result in a beer with higher than usual alcohol or a very sweet flavor profile or, more often than not, both. They vary in color from brownish red to pitch black and generally have a low, leveled, and balanced hop bitterness. Some are spiced, and tend to follow the English “wassail” tradition of blending robust ales with mixed spices (which was common before hops became the principle beer spice).

Back in the day, winter warmers with arrogant levels of flavor and alcohol were the perfect beer for the holiday season. However, in today's beer scene, extreme beers are available all year round with their near immoral levels of hops, malt and alcohol, and the winter warmer seems a little less extraordinary. Many breweries still make some version of a winter warmer as their holiday seasonal release. Expect lots of flavor and alcohol, but if you are a fan of the extreme beer movement, do not expect to have your socks knocked off.

The second category of Christmas beers, which is not a style so much as it is a brewing technique, is adjunct brewing. The stigma surrounding the word adjunct in brewing terms will cause many in the know to shutter at the mere mention of it when describing beautifully delicious crafty Christmas beer, but allow me to clarify my point. Back in the days of the Reinheitsgebot, or Bavarian purity laws, it was determined that beer was to be made using only three components: water, malted barley and hops. They later added yeast once they figured out what yeast was. But by definition, anything beyond those three (four) ingredients was verboten (or in our context, an adjunct). Fast forward a few hundred years to the American Industrial Beer Debacle and you’ll find the big boys using corn, rice, and sugar (adjuncts) as substitutes for malted barley in an effort to save money and dilute the end product. Clearly, the word stigma was an understatement on my part.

100% awesome cinnamon sticks
Fortunately, today’s craft beer community has embraced using a different kind of adjunct. Instead of substituting cheap alternatives for proper brewing ingredients, we are adding flavoring agents (often times fairly expensive and hard to acquire) in addition to the proper grain amount in order to achieve a more glorious end product. A lot of popular Christmas beers are those that employ adjuncts, especially holiday appropriate adjuncts. Spices like ginger, cinnamon, allspice, cloves, and cardamom, as well as fruits like cherries and cranberries are often found in Christmas beers in order to give them some additional holiday cheer. Honey is also a very common adjunct in Christmas beers. In many cases, these adjuncts that the brewers employ are closely guarded proprietary secrets.

The third and final category that I have concocted in order to rack and stack Christmas beers is the Christmas-themed wildcard beers category [COP-OUT ALERT]. This category has no right and left limits, other than that the beers placed into it are Christmas/holiday season themed. The category could include a Christmas/holiday/winter seasonal release, even if the beer in question is not a traditional Christmas/holiday/winter style. As long as the beer’s name is Christmas-like, or the label art invokes themes of the holiday season, or it is deliberately released as a seasonal offering for this time of year, it’s in the club. I know, this seems like a cut-rate catch-all category that will serve to clean-up the scraps left behind by the first two, and it is exactly that, but remember back to the beginning of this blog post when I asserted that Christmas beer is NOT a defined style and that the lack of a style is good thing. It allows brewers to have some fun and offer a beer that is devoid of parameters and is intended to bring you good tidings and holiday cheer. Now who could argue with that?

It's the most wonderful time of the year

If you would like some recommendations on Christmas beers that I recommend you go out and try, see last week’s post on the 25 beers of Christmas. Seriously, any one of them would be a great choice.

Here’s to craft-brewed happiness… Cheers!