Give Mom a Beer!

A Mom with a beer is
a happy Mom

Today is Mother’s Day. Hopefully, you already knew that, but in case you didn’t, stop reading this blog immediately and call your mother.

For those who are still reading, I have a nickel’s worth of free advice regarding the perfect Mother’s Day gift for Mom… wait for it… give Mom a beer!

Most people feel they have to stand elbow to elbow in the hallmark aisle at the local grocery store, or hand-select from the endless (and seemingly identical) arrays of pre-arranged flower bouquets that are wrapped in cellophane and on a rack at the end of the cereal aisle next to the Entenmanns. I suspect that if anyone bothered to ask her, Mom would much rather have everyone leave the freakin’ house for the afternoon so she can enjoy a cold one in peace. Now that sounds like a Mother’s Day gift.

The "Mother" tattoo makes everything
seem tougher

In order to pull this off, you’ll have to do a little research. Find out what kind of beer Mom likes. Is she a Belgian lover or a hop head (my kind of woman)? Does she gravitate towards lagers or are her tastes a bit darker, like those of a true stout hound? Once you have Mom’s idiom all figured out, proceed to that same grocery store, but instead of fighting the crowds in the cards and flowers aisle, go directly to the crafty beers section and hook Mom up. Then, give her the beers and take everyone with you when you leave. You’ll finally be able to tell your brothers and sisters that you are her favorite, and there’s nothing they can say or do about it.

If you’re not sure what kind of brew Mom likes, and given that Mother’s Day falls in May, I would suggest light, crispy summer seasonals and heffeweizens, or Belgian witbiers and saisons as great spots on the beer style spectrum to start looking. If Mom has a distinguished palate, opt for something spicy or brewed with fruit.

A brewery tour is a gift that both Mom and her
kid can enjoy

Note: If your Mom is a true, unabashed and unapologetic beer connoisseur, than this strategy may not be enough. You might have to think bigger if you still want to go down in Mother’s Day history. Might I suggest accompanying Mom on a tour of local brewery, or to a cask or keg tapping event at a local brewpub? The important thing is to let Mom relax and enjoy herself. Kids Day happens 364 days a year, but Mom only gets one, so don’t screw it up.

Here’s to craft-brewed happiness (and to Moms too)… Cheers!

Drink Local Beer

How can he talk and drink at the same time?

Buying local is not a new concept but it is one that is not often practiced or understood. Especially given the American mindset in which we're entitled to get whatever we want, from wherever we want, whenever we want. But buying local keeps your money circulating through your hometown: paying your neighbors' salaries, boosting local government revenues and so on. When you give your cash to a national chain, on the other hand, your money gets whisked away in that night's deposit.

If more people applied this idea to beer consumption, more local beer scenes would prosper and the chances of a giant national brand taking a foothold would decrease. Buying local beer also promotes interest in the local brewing scene, both with consumers and business owners within the industry - bars, restaurants, beer stores and whatnot. And, as a result, your chances of getting more fresh local beer on tap and on the shelves increase. Buy a mega-national brand and you merely strengthen its consumer reach, and support its mega-advertising campaigns and corporate lifestyle, but you take dollars, tap handles, shelf space and, potentially, jobs away from local breweries. And that's not cool.

There are many ways to support your local beer scene, and it doesn't mean that you have to stop buying your favorite imports. Simply think before you drink and try to introduce more local beer into your life.

Standing tall and looking good

Visit your local brewpub, pull up a seat at the bar and explore their beers. Visit a local brewery, take the tour and have some samples. Take home a growler of beer, too, because not only will the beer be extremely fresh, but you'll also be tempted to bring the empty back for a refill.

Swing by your local beer store and buy local brews. Most local beers are also cheaper than domestic or foreign imports, and again, they'll most likely be fresh. And, the more local beer purchased, the more these places will stock them. Many stores are also open to consumer suggestions.

Support local beer bars, as they often offer many local beers and help to spread the word and availability. They too are often open to consumer suggestions.

Going out to eat? Visit your local brewpub for some brews and food, or at least order local beer if you're dining at a restaurant.

Okay, now I'm hungry... and thirsty

Most smart brewpubs and many restaurants/beer bars host beer dinners throughout the year, which are a great opportunity to enhance your knowledge and gain access to some great brews. They're usually co-hosted by a local brewer and provide a great array of beer-and-food-pairing, and education.

Attend a beer festival. Many festivals are out to support the local beer scene and spread the good word of beer. They can also be educational eye-openers to the magnificent world of beer that's right under your nose by introducing you to beers that don't have deep advertising pockets to let you know about them in a flashy kind of way.

Here’s to craft-brewed happiness… Cheers!

Special Delivery from the Land of Cleves

"Ohio!"

Here’s an original quote from me: “Craft beer drinking is a team sport.” Let me explain.

It’s been said that the whole is equal to the sum of its parts. I tend to believe that, especially since this axiom fits so easily into drinking beer, where access to delicious craftiness is such a large part of the overall mission. After all, how can you experience a particular craft label if you can’t find it?

So many craft brewers only distribute on a regional level, which creates a nice local flare to the craft industry, but it severely limits an east coast based beer lover’s ability to enjoy west coast based beer, and vice verse. This is where having crafty friends comes in handy, as they often have access to beers you don’t, and can help you get your hands on regional rarities that you’d never be able to find otherwise.

So we're parting Lake Erie now?

I have a friend named Johnny who recently went home to visit friends and family in Cleveland, Ohio, where all the little chicks with the crimson lips go “Cleveland Rocks!” As many of you know, in addition to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and burning rivers, Clevestan is also home to the Great Lakes Brewing Company, which is one of my favorites. We have access to some of the Great Lakes’ labels here in Northern Virginia, but not many, and certainly not to the seasonals and occasional rarities. Johnny courageously bridged the gap between me and Great Lakes by acquiring a sixer of their Holy Moses White Ale. Good looking out Johnny.

Clearly, Johnny’s access to the Land of Cleves and their Great Lakes Brewing Company beers has made me a stronger craft beer drinker, which is why team work is the key.

Here’s to craft-brewed happiness… Cheers!

How the Whole Thing Works?

I tend to speak about beer in terms of the process, and I do so freely, quickly and often without regard to whether my captive audience can understand me. I can admit this flaw, and I openly seek to rectify it by offering visual aids in order to facilitate effective communication. So here is the brewing process, all laid out into a nice little diagram, so that those who accuse me of fast speech will be appeased.

It's so simple

This is, of course, a gross over-simplification of the fine art known as brewing, but for the sake of understandability and universal accuracy, it will do. I hope this chart helps you understand what I am talking about when I use words like “wort” or “lauter” of “mash tun.” And as always, feel free to ask questions.

Here’s to craft-brewed happiness… Cheers!

Mud Running Made Easy

Crazy? You bet your @$$ they are!

Good beer comes in all shapes and sizes. And sometimes, it is found in the most bizarre places. Take, for example, the Rugged Maniac Mud Run in Petersburg, Virginia. That is where I found myself today, cheering on my better half as she ran the 5k mud run. Fortunately, I was not alone.... I had the power of craftiness to get me through.

Pride of Bean Town

You see, the fine folks at the Harpoon Brewing Company in Boston, Massachusetts had the good sense to sponsor the event, and as such, they had plenty of IPAs and UFO Wheat Ales on hand to quench the thirst and placate the palate of the runners and on-lookers alike. Thanks to Harpoon, I was able to enjoy myself just a little bit more than I otherwise would have, and thus, I can report that it's all smiles from Petersburg this cloudy and humid Saturday afternoon.

This episode serves to prove as evidence that crafty beer is invading any and all venues that will have them, and the list of those that will have them is growing by the day. Athletic events like mud runs, hash runs and bicycle races are acquiring craft beer sponsors like hotcakes. And the reviews are wonderful. It turns out that healthy, outdoorsy, athletic people like to drink beer, and they prefer good beer (who knew?) (I knew).

If this aint fun, I don't know what is

I can see the future here folks. Craft beer is invading major sports venues like Major League Baseball stadiums, and they are invading smaller atheltic venues like mud runs. I foresee that in time (not much time), you'll be able to get good beer at ALL public events - air shows, art exhibits, political conventions, what have you.

So get excited... the light at the end of the tunnel is almost here!

Here's to craft-brewed happiness... Cheers!

Beer Night!!!

Beware the fox

Guess what… it’s beer night (BEER NIGHT!!!).

What the frack is beer night? I’m glad you asked.

“Beer Night” is a non-descript phrase that refers to any early-evening to early morning event that is dedicated and/or revolves around beer. Pretty simple. And tonight, my crafty disciples, is a beer night. Trust me, it’s long overdue.

The site of tonight’s beer night is Mad Fox Brewing Company in Falls Church, Virginia. The agenda includes whatever crafty concoctions the guys at Mad Fox have in store for us… perhaps their black IPA, or their orange-whip IPA (FAVORITE ALERT), or maybe even their award winning Kellerbier Kolsch.

Shiny happy bright tanks holding beer...

As a concerned member of society and a vocal advocate of GOOD beer, I feel obliged to issue the following public service announcement: If you live in the Northern Virginia/Maryland/DC Metro area, you are doing yourself a disservice by not going to dinner at the Mad Fox Brewing Company. They are a shining beacon of deliciousness in the dull fizzy corn-based yellow beer world; a respected industry giant, and they are local, so not only are you getting good beer, you’re supporting the local economy. Good for you.

Plus, the food is truly excellent.

And… and… and… you can fill a growler (beer doggie bag) of their delicious brew for $10. Two liters to go. Can’t beat that.

Blogger's Note: I am not an employee of Mad Fox, nor do I recieve any special perks from the brew pub in exchange for a positive review in my blog. However, if Bill Madden (owner, CEO and Executive Brewer of Mad Fox), or any of his compatriots are reading this, and they want to discuss potential compensation, I am willing to listen.

Here’s to craft-brewed happiness… Cheers!

Misleading Marketing

I know I’m about to make enemies out of a large swath of people who are prone to violence, but I have to voice (type) a criticism of Guinness. More accurately, my critique is of the advertisers responsible for their Black Lager ad campaign, but I assume that someone at Guinness HQ maintains some degree of responsibility for their commercials.

Cool lookin' bottle though

Here’s my problem. Their commercial leads with the question, “What happens when a beer tastes both refreshing and flavorful?” As a fan of good crafty beer, this question is preposterous because the two are not mutually exclusive. I suppose that if I drank corn-based fizzy yellow industrial swill (Budweiser, Miller or Coors for example), perhaps I would be enamored with the premise of beer that actually tastes good and was refreshing as well. My problem stems from the fact that I have taken the red pill, and I have woken up in a world where beer is better and people are happier. In my world, all the beer I drink tastes amazing and is refreshing too.

So clearly this commercial is not aimed at me. No other conclusion to draw here. Guinness finds itself at a crossroads in the beer market, as their primary consumers are more sophisticated than AB/InBev or MillerCoors drinkers, but are not quite to the level of enlightenment of craft beer drinkers. I think that most Guinness drinkers would be able to find a delicious crafty equivalent to their treasured Irish dry stout if they weren’t so loyal to their label. But as I happen to like Guinness, I’m in no hurry to convert them.

Perhaps we crafty-minded beer lovers need to use this slogan instead of rebuffing it. After all, what better way to save beer drinkers from the doldrums of boring (and gross) yellow beer than by selling them that beer can be both refreshing and flavorful? Then instead of showing them a bottle of Guinness Black Lager, show them a lineup of delicious craftiness and let them speak for themselves.

Here’s to craft-brewed happiness… Cheers!