At Least They Have Good Beer

That's true... they do always seem to have ammo.

I may have mentioned it before, but I am fan of the AMC television program “The Walking Dead.” A huge fan. I’m not entirely sure what about flesh-eating zombies and post-apocalyptic survival appeals to my senses, but for whatever reason, that show never ceases to entertain me.

The reason I mention it today is because last fall, during the fifth episode of season three, craft beer made a cameo. Ordinarily, I cannot abide product placement, but when that product is craft beer, it’s a breath of fresh air since smaller companies (and good beer) usually don’t get the air time.

In the episode, the town of Woodbury is holding a celebration, and the beer they are drinking is SweetWater Brewing Company’s Georgia Brown and Red Brick Brewing Company’s Hoplanta IPA. It should be pointed out that the show is set in Georgia, and those are both Atlanta-based breweries, but still, that’s pretty awesome if you ask me. The network and producers could have had the characters drinking some corn/rice-based, yellow, fizzy, industrial, swill beer, but instead, they opted to have their characters drink good beer. Way to go AMC. Say “no” to big beer!

This of course got me thinking, would living through a zombie apocalypse be so bad if they had good beer to drink? It certainly would be a welcome creature comfort, serving to both distract us from reality and take the edge off. Obviously, we would have to enjoy our craft beer responsibly, due to limited supplies and the need to not be totally wasted when a zombie tried to bite us.

I know you’re probably thinking that eventually, the beer would run out. In reality, because of people like me, that would NOT be a problem. Beer has been made by humans since humans settled down in one place and started farming. Some historians and archaeologists even believe that beer was the reason humans stopped wandering and settled in one place. The beauty of brewing beer is, if you can make a fire, you can brew beer. No electricity is required. And since some of us have bothered to learn how to make the stuff instead of just drinking it, we will be able to continue to provide that service until the day the zombies finally bite us.

The Governor keeps the crappy macro beer out of Woodbury

And it’s not just brewing – we will need farmers to cultivate the barley, wheat, rye, and of course, the hops! We’ll also need a miller to mill the grain and a malt house to malt the milled the grain. Someone will also need to grow and maintain orchards and fruit tree groves so that there will be wild yeast in the air to take care of the fermenting.

Not only would beer still be available in a post-apocalyptic world, it would also have to be crafty, whether the beer plebes liked it or not. There probably wouldn't be electricity, which means the major factory-style breweries would go away, or at least have to be steam-powered. Either way, there would be less of that going on. Not to mention that without oil refineries, there is no gasoline, which means no cars (though they do drive cars on “The Walking Dead”), which means smaller, more tribal-like societies, which means a smaller, artisanal, cottage-industry-type of business model with little to no distribution beyond the local settlement… the point is, any beer that is “made” (as opposed to left over from before), will be made by hand, in small batches, with attention to detail and love of brewing guiding the brewer’s hands. Honestly, it seems as though the beer would be better following a cataclysmic event of some kind.

Michonne will make sure the beer stays crafty.

But all hypothetical, post-apocalyptic theories about beer and society aside, it is good to see the craft beer community getting some love from a very popular show. I’m not sure if big beer was too short-sighted to see the opportunity for product placement, or if the creators of the show are beer nerds who know better, but for whatever reason, SweetWater and Red Brick were chosen. It should be pointed out that it is not just isolated to one episode – there have been other incidents of craft beer product placement in the show in other episodes as well. Usually, it’s a SweetWater beer sign in an abandoned bar, or something else that is only in the background. But in the fifth episode of season three, craft beer was in the spotlight, alongside the Governor and Michonne. Maybe surviving after most of our fellow humans are gone won’t be so bad after all.

Note – No, I am not rooting for the apocalypse to happen. I’m just trying to look on the bright side of things.

Here’s to craft-brewed happiness… Cheers!

Poppa's Got a Brand New Brew

T-Shirts are always so true!

My parents used to tell me that “everyday was kids’ day.” I never really grasped what they meant by that until I had kids of my own. Now I get it.

Fortunately, society has deigned to give the hard working patriarchs of the familial unit one day a year that still belongs to them. One day to celebrate the fact that Dad gives up the other 364 calendar days to the whims of the kids. This Sunday, in case you forgot, happens to be that day.

SPOILER ALERT – It’s Father’s Day.

So being that most dads like beer, and this is a holiday designed to let dad relax a little bit and perhaps even get what he wants for a change, the logical conclusion is that we should buy dad a beer (or two, or a sixer, or a suit case, or a keg…).  How does one do this you ask? Do I really need to go over this?

Step 1 – Figure out if Dad does in fact like beer. If the answer is yes, proceed to step 2. If no, we have a bigger problem on our hands.

Step 2 – Figure out what kind of beer he likes. If the answer is a proper craft brewed style of beer, proceed to step 3. If the answer is some industrial, corn/rice-based, yellow, fizzy swill beer, we have a bigger problem on our hands.

Step 3 – Proceed to your local craft beer selling retail place and buy dad his preferred beer. I recommend a six-pack of onesies (the build-a-rack of singles that most beer stores and grocery stores have these days) as it allows for a greater selection and an overall greater experience in my humble opinion. Of course, if dad has a preferred make and model of craft beer, he will certainly be pleased by you giving him a (insert quantity here) of his favorite brew. If you’re not sure, and you want some suggestions, here is a Father’s Day inspired list of craft beer, courtesy of the lads over at CraftBeer.com:

Big Black VooDoo Daddy | VooDoo Brewing Co. | Meadville, PA - A big, viscous Russian imperial stout rich in notes of chocolate, vanilla, roasted coffee and dark fruits. BBVD is hopped with Chinook, Northern Brewer and Cascade to add a subtle bitterness to this robust ale.

Big Daddy IPA | Speakeasy Ales & Lagers | San Francisco, CA - Big Daddy IPA is a generously dry-hopped yet surprisingly drinkable American-style India pale ale. Poured into a standard American pint glass, the beer is a golden straw color, with tight carbonation and a slightly off-white head that leaves a lovely lacing. The aroma is floral, fresh grass, pine needles, grapefruit and subtle notes of fresh bread. Also available: Double Daddy.

Dad’s Little Helper | Rogue Ales | Newport, OR - Dad’s Little Helper Black IPA is deep mahogany in color with roasted malt and hop aromas and a dense creamy head. It enters the palate with intense hop flavor and coats the tongue with a rich maltiness.

Dad’s Oatmeal Stout | Geaghan Brothers Brewing | Bangor, ME - This oatmeal stout is full bodied and silky smooth with coffee-like aromas.  Additions of Chinook and U.S. Goldings hops give balance and moderate bitterness to this rich, dark beer.

Hoosier Daddy | New Albanian Brewing Co. | New Albany, IN - Dubbed a “crimson & cream ale,” this seasonal is medium-bodied, with overall balance favoring malt, and a slightly sweet edge.

Hop Daddy IPA | Main Street Brewery | Corona, CA - This IPA was the winner of a bronze and silver medal in 2008 and 2000, respectively, at the Great American Beer Festival in the English-Style India Pale Ale category.

Blasted reality. Always ruining fantasy.

Step 4 – Now that you’ve purchased dad’s beer, give it to him on Sunday and say “Happy Father’s Day dad! Thanks for putting up with all of my crap all these years!” Pretty simple.

Okay, so now let’s discuss bigger and more epic applications of the “give dad beer on Father’s Day” theory, because let’s face it – if you’re going to be a bear, be a grizzly bear.

Since the name of the game on Father’s Day is to give dad what he wants, and since in this particular vignette he wants beer, why not take him to a place where he can have his beer and drink it too? Take him to a brewery, where he can hang out with fellow beer fans, see how it’s made, drink it straight off the line and even walk out with some cool merch and a story to tell. Chances are there’s one in your neck of the woods. If you can’t take him there to celebrate, go there yourself and buy dad a growler of something he’ll like. Support your local brewers.

I think a better question is "why NOT take dad to a brewery on Father's Day?"

Another thing that qualifies as something dads want on Father’s Day is good food, and it just so happens that craft beer and good food go together like craft beer and good food. You thought I was going to say peas and carrots didn’t you? Seriously, find a local restaurant that has a good craft beer selection and have your Father’s Day dinner there. The ideal spot is a brewpub or alehouse if you have that sort of thing near you. Dad will dig it the most. Plus, since most restaurants offer deals, discounts, promotions, etc on Father’s day, you can save a little money while you’re at it. Everybody wins.

Now THAT's a Father's Day gift!

There are also beer related gifts you can get for dad, such as glassware, beer shirts or hats, flip-flops with church keys in the sole (awesomeness), a kegerator (epic awesomeness), a beer-related tie, a book about beer, etc. The possibilities are endless.

So this Father’s Day, don’t be that kid that just gives dad a card – give him what he really wants for Father’s Day, which I think we all can agree is beer. Lots of beer. And a steak.

Here’s to craft-brewed happiness… Cheers!

June 1st, 2013 - A Beer Odyssey

Great tune.

Or perhaps it’s an oddity – This is Major Tom to Ground Control… I’m stepping through the door…

June 1st is not particularly special in and of itself, unless your birthday is today, in which case, Happy Birthday!!! But other than birthdays, it’s just another summer day. Of course, it happens to fall on a Saturday this year, which qualifies it for…

… RANDOM SUMMER BEER SATURDAY QUEST status. And, no, I didn't just make that up. Okay, maybe I did.

What am I blathering about? I’ll tell you what I’m blathering about. It’s summer, it’s nice outside, you don’t have to work today, so let’s go beer questing. Plain and simple. The quest can be as easy or elaborate as you wish to make it. It can take place at a single destination, multiple destinations, or maybe even from the comfort of your own home. It is quite literally whatever you want to do with this opportunity.

So as a way to inspire you, I’ll reveal what I've got up my sleeve for today’s beer odyssey. WARNING: The following descriptions and accounts contains SPOILERS, for those of you who are joining me on today’s adventure and want to remain surprised.

Be careful with this one.

A few days ago, I received a message from Brixx Woodfired Pizza in Woodbridge, VA, alerting me to the fact that they have acquired a cask of Lake Erie Monster Double IPA, courtesy of the Great Lakes Brewing Company out of Cleveland, OH. It would be tapped at 1:00pm sharp on Saturday, June 1st and be available until floated.

What’s the big deal? Well, as you all know by now, I am an admitted hop head. I would be willing (if it weren't for pressing obligations in my real life) to scour the earth looking for IPAs, Double IPAs, Imperial IPAs, etc, just to sit back and enjoy them. Not to mention that Lake Erie Monster is a seasonal rarity release and is not always available. Additionally, beers out of a cask are ALWAYS delicious and cause to literally drop everything you are doing and partake. This particular Double IPA is hopped with Simcoe and Willamette hops from the Pacific Northwest and weighs in at 9.1% ABV, 80 IBU, and has a final gravity of 22 degrees plato. Everything you want; nothing you don’t.

Clearly, this is a prime place to begin my sortie into deliciousness. Once I have had my share of the the Monster, it will be time for round two, which is…

…pre-gaming for round three. Okay, I know what you’re thinking. Why not just label this part a transition and make round three round two? Because it’s my beer odyssey… not yours. Besides, a pre-game should never be treated as an afterthought. It is just as important as the events that precede it and those that follow it. An entire evening can be made or broken with the pre-game.

Once the prescribed amount of time has elapsed, the pre-game will end and we’ll be on to round three. A few times a year, I contribute my time and effort to serving beer to the thirsty masses… in person. This is one of those times. I will be serving beer in a beer tent on a beach to those who crave malted-barley-based refreshment (and have enough tickets to trade me for the beer). I’m not going to sit here and tell you that I won’t be having a few myself while I hand them out, because that would be a lie.

$7.75 for horse urine in a bottle? That's highway robbery!

Once the beer serving is done, I will then fade into the throngs of thirsty beer patrons at the event and continue drinking until I determine that enough is enough. Should be a pretty nice little Saturday, maybe Home Depot or Bed, Bath, and Beyond… not sure if we’ll have enough time.

… for here am I sitting in my tin can…

Here’s to craft-brewed happiness… Cheers!