Poppa's Got a Brand New Brew

T-Shirts are always so true!

My parents used to tell me that “everyday was kids’ day.” I never really grasped what they meant by that until I had kids of my own. Now I get it.

Fortunately, society has deigned to give the hard working patriarchs of the familial unit one day a year that still belongs to them. One day to celebrate the fact that Dad gives up the other 364 calendar days to the whims of the kids. This Sunday, in case you forgot, happens to be that day.

SPOILER ALERT – It’s Father’s Day.

So being that most dads like beer, and this is a holiday designed to let dad relax a little bit and perhaps even get what he wants for a change, the logical conclusion is that we should buy dad a beer (or two, or a sixer, or a suit case, or a keg…).  How does one do this you ask? Do I really need to go over this?

Step 1 – Figure out if Dad does in fact like beer. If the answer is yes, proceed to step 2. If no, we have a bigger problem on our hands.

Step 2 – Figure out what kind of beer he likes. If the answer is a proper craft brewed style of beer, proceed to step 3. If the answer is some industrial, corn/rice-based, yellow, fizzy swill beer, we have a bigger problem on our hands.

Step 3 – Proceed to your local craft beer selling retail place and buy dad his preferred beer. I recommend a six-pack of onesies (the build-a-rack of singles that most beer stores and grocery stores have these days) as it allows for a greater selection and an overall greater experience in my humble opinion. Of course, if dad has a preferred make and model of craft beer, he will certainly be pleased by you giving him a (insert quantity here) of his favorite brew. If you’re not sure, and you want some suggestions, here is a Father’s Day inspired list of craft beer, courtesy of the lads over at CraftBeer.com:

Big Black VooDoo Daddy | VooDoo Brewing Co. | Meadville, PA - A big, viscous Russian imperial stout rich in notes of chocolate, vanilla, roasted coffee and dark fruits. BBVD is hopped with Chinook, Northern Brewer and Cascade to add a subtle bitterness to this robust ale.

Big Daddy IPA | Speakeasy Ales & Lagers | San Francisco, CA - Big Daddy IPA is a generously dry-hopped yet surprisingly drinkable American-style India pale ale. Poured into a standard American pint glass, the beer is a golden straw color, with tight carbonation and a slightly off-white head that leaves a lovely lacing. The aroma is floral, fresh grass, pine needles, grapefruit and subtle notes of fresh bread. Also available: Double Daddy.

Dad’s Little Helper | Rogue Ales | Newport, OR - Dad’s Little Helper Black IPA is deep mahogany in color with roasted malt and hop aromas and a dense creamy head. It enters the palate with intense hop flavor and coats the tongue with a rich maltiness.

Dad’s Oatmeal Stout | Geaghan Brothers Brewing | Bangor, ME - This oatmeal stout is full bodied and silky smooth with coffee-like aromas.  Additions of Chinook and U.S. Goldings hops give balance and moderate bitterness to this rich, dark beer.

Hoosier Daddy | New Albanian Brewing Co. | New Albany, IN - Dubbed a “crimson & cream ale,” this seasonal is medium-bodied, with overall balance favoring malt, and a slightly sweet edge.

Hop Daddy IPA | Main Street Brewery | Corona, CA - This IPA was the winner of a bronze and silver medal in 2008 and 2000, respectively, at the Great American Beer Festival in the English-Style India Pale Ale category.

Blasted reality. Always ruining fantasy.

Step 4 – Now that you’ve purchased dad’s beer, give it to him on Sunday and say “Happy Father’s Day dad! Thanks for putting up with all of my crap all these years!” Pretty simple.

Okay, so now let’s discuss bigger and more epic applications of the “give dad beer on Father’s Day” theory, because let’s face it – if you’re going to be a bear, be a grizzly bear.

Since the name of the game on Father’s Day is to give dad what he wants, and since in this particular vignette he wants beer, why not take him to a place where he can have his beer and drink it too? Take him to a brewery, where he can hang out with fellow beer fans, see how it’s made, drink it straight off the line and even walk out with some cool merch and a story to tell. Chances are there’s one in your neck of the woods. If you can’t take him there to celebrate, go there yourself and buy dad a growler of something he’ll like. Support your local brewers.

I think a better question is "why NOT take dad to a brewery on Father's Day?"

Another thing that qualifies as something dads want on Father’s Day is good food, and it just so happens that craft beer and good food go together like craft beer and good food. You thought I was going to say peas and carrots didn’t you? Seriously, find a local restaurant that has a good craft beer selection and have your Father’s Day dinner there. The ideal spot is a brewpub or alehouse if you have that sort of thing near you. Dad will dig it the most. Plus, since most restaurants offer deals, discounts, promotions, etc on Father’s day, you can save a little money while you’re at it. Everybody wins.

Now THAT's a Father's Day gift!

There are also beer related gifts you can get for dad, such as glassware, beer shirts or hats, flip-flops with church keys in the sole (awesomeness), a kegerator (epic awesomeness), a beer-related tie, a book about beer, etc. The possibilities are endless.

So this Father’s Day, don’t be that kid that just gives dad a card – give him what he really wants for Father’s Day, which I think we all can agree is beer. Lots of beer. And a steak.

Here’s to craft-brewed happiness… Cheers!