Beer-Related Madness, in March

Standard Issue Tuna Melt - Delicious!

March Madness is once again upon us. The annual college basketball tournament (or tuna melt as I've heard it called… interesting…) is in full swing and the favorites are dropping like flies. Meanwhile, at a local newspaper or national news agency near you, a different sort of bracketology is going on – craft beer bracketology.

It’s exactly what it sounds like. These media folks are pitting craft beers against each other in a March Madness-style tournament of sorts. Most focus on local beers from around your neck of the woods and enlist local people to vote for their favorites. The folks who vote are sometimes a panel of supposed experts, but usually a collection of ordinary people who drink beer. I've seen the more high-speed news outlets have online voting.

On one hand, this is probably a genius marketing ploy by the brewing industry as it raises awareness of local craft beer and gets people who wouldn't otherwise care about craft beer to suddenly care. I guess. It’s interesting, and it appeals to people’s local pride, sense of competition, and love for college basketball and beer. Sounds like an “everybody wins” kind of situation, right? Right?

Actually, I’m not convinced.

If you really drink craft beer, and I mean really drink craft beer - are borderline obsessed like I am, don’t read these “craft beer brackets” stories. Don’t be fooled. They’re not meant for us. They’ll just make us angry.

Here’s why.

A great beer

First of all, whenever you enlist public voting for a supposed competition, that competition will inevitably become nothing more than a popularity contest. We see this play out in the MLB All Star Game Fan Vote, which votes Derek Jeter to be the starting short stop for the American League every year, even though he hasn't been the best short stop in the American League in 4 years. But he’s a living legend, future first-ballot hall of fame player and people know him.

This is already happening in the Washington Post’s Beer Madness for 2014, which fills out its bracket with beers from all over the DC, Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania and Delaware region. In the first round, Dogfish Head’s 60 minute IPA is up against Mad Fox Brewing Company’s Orange Whip IPA. For those of us who live here, and are dedicated beer people, this is a no-brainer – Orange Whip is vastly superior to 60 minute in every way. It shouldn't even be close. Except that Mad Fox is not as known as Dogfish and many people involved in this fan vote have never heard of them, let alone had the Orange Whip. As a result, Dogfish Head’s 60 minute slaughtered Orange Whip in the first round… a travesty.

An even better beer

And of course Dogfish has their legions of fan boys who would vote for anything Sam Calgione churned out – this is my second point. These brackets feature small breweries and big breweries (not big beer) alike, and when you factor in brand recognition, popularity and customer loyalty into the equation, the little guys don’t really stand a chance. Now don’t get me wrong – I happen to like Dogfish Head beers, but I am not a true believer who will blindly vote for them because I saw the shark on the bottle.

Another problem, and my third point, is that while there is an effort to include smaller breweries in the tournament, even though they don’t really stand a chance anyways, the larger breweries often have multiple beers in the brackets - because apparently, there aren't enough breweries around to have all single entry. Hogwash. Maybe not all regions of the country have enough breweries to fill out a 64 beer bracket, but in the case of the WaPo Beer Madness Bracket, which has cobbled together entries from at least five states, they could have easily found 64 unique breweries.

Actual beer competion

There is also an attempt to categorize the beers into four types (regions) so as to not compare apples to oranges. I think I understand the intent behind this, but if the final four is comprised of the winners from the four categories, eventually you will have to compare apples to oranges. Maybe it’s that they don’t want to have four IPAs in the final four, which likely would happen. This is exactly the reason why actual beer competitions only compare beers of like styles against each other, and have multiple gold medal winners. This being a marketing engine, what difference does it make?

So because of popularity, a lack of options and low-information in the minds of the voters, you’re going to be left with a final four consisting of a Dogfish Head, a Tröegs, a Heavy Seas and a Starr Hill – all of these breweries make great beer, and their brewers are great Americans, but what about the little breweries?

Get out and vote!

Now as I alluded to at the top, this doesn't mean the brackets don’t have their place… they’re probably a powerful marketing tool – they have to be. A few years ago, one media outlet had the idea to team up with local brewers and now… we have at least 10 different brackets in the DC Metro Area featuring our local beers. So obviously it makes money for those involved. As an advocate for delicious craft beer in spite of who makes it, what I am saying is if you’re like me, you may want to skip these brackets… you most likely won’t like what you read. Or, you can organize a coalition of like-minded craft beer hunters to go online and rock the vote, and make sure that justice is done. Just as long as you’re prepared to invest quite a bit of time and effort into your cause… the legions of Dogfish fan boys are not easily thwarted.

Here’s to craft-brewed happiness… Cheers!