The Ship Continues to Sink

Women and children first!

There was a line from the movie Super Troopers that went like this: “Desperation is a stinky cologne.” These days, the funk of desperation is emanating from the Anheuser-Busch headquarters in St. Louis, Missouri (or wherever in Belgium that Budweiser claims its headquarters is these days). Take this little article I found that was published 5 days ago:

Desperate To Turn Sales Around, Anheuser-Busch Tries New Beers And Bullying Wholesalers

Kevin Spak|March 29, 2012

Anheuser-Busch InBev is desperate to turn its sales around. Sure, it's still the biggest beer company in the US, but shipments have fallen for three straight years, thanks to the growing popularity of small, independent craft brewers.

But this year Budweiser's got a plan, president of North American operations Luiz Edmond tells the Wall Street Journal: It's going to produce more beers, while leaning on distributors not to carry the competition.

Anheuser will introduce 19 new products this year, its biggest roll out since the InBev merger.

Some will aim to compete in the craft market, like additions to its Shock Top line, or boast higher alcohol content, like the 6% Bud Light Platinum, which Edmond calls a "game changer."

Still others, like Bud Light Lime-a-Rita, will be malt beverages bearing little resemblance to beer.

At the same time, Bud has urged 500 wholesalers to distribute fewer rival beers, warning that it will act against those who don't.

An unapologetic Edmond says wholesalers must pick sides, and show "loyalty" to InBev.

Read more: http://articles.businessinsider.com/2012-03-29/strategy/31253200_1_anheuser-busch-inbev-independent-craft-brewers-beers#ixzz1r0ZrCHm0

You won't get away with it AB-InBev!

Give me few moments to stop laughing… okay, now I’m ready. I am actually encouraged to read that AB is admitting a) that they are losing ground to craft brewers and b) that they are resorting to underhanded tactics to try to turn it around. Of course, it was underhanded tactics by big beer that led to the premature death of Sam Calgione’s Discovery Channel show “Brewmasters,” but they won’t admit to that. Back in the day, AB built its empire by telling local pubs to stop selling their competitors’ beer in exchange for their rent being paid for them. Sleazy business practices are part of what makes Budweiser Budweiser.

Then there are the 19 new products, which I’m sure are all of the finest premium beer quality that corn can provide. The Shock Top line is, and always has been, a scam to trick the unaware beer drinker into thinking that he or she is drinking craft beer, when in fact, its Budweiser’s corn-based interpretation on proper beer styles. The 6% ABV Bud Light Platinum is a joke, in which AB is convincing less-informed beer drinkers that ABV matters and then praying upon their ignorance. 6% isn’t even that high if that sort of thing DID matter to you, though it is higher than their normal offerings. I’m curious as to what “game” he thinks this crap will “change.” And as for the Bud Light Lime-a-Rita… I think I just vomited in mouth.

The beer drinkers control the means
of production!

I suppose the upside to all of this is that it shows desperation. They’ve been trying to solve the craft-beer conundrum for years, and if this article is any indication, they’re still missing the point by miles and miles. The reason that craft beer drinkers drink craft beer is that they’ve chosen quality over quantity; premium over generic; pride over shame; happiness over blah; good over evil. These aren’t phenomena that can be reversed with ill-conceived gimmicks and threats. The die has been cast Bud… you suck! And soon the entire world will not only hear it… they’ll believe it too.

Here’s to craft-brewed happiness… Cheers!