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| This cracks me up |
As much as this revelation pains me to accept, perhaps
even more vexing is the fact that some beer plebes harbor resentment for those
of us who are enlightened, due mostly to a perceived snobbery that we exhibit
towards them and their beer choices. I have been acutely aware for many years that
“beer snobs” do exist, and I have fiercely maintained that I am not one of them,
but rather, I am a “beer nerd.” I am obsessed and compulsive about beer, and I
admit it, but I would never pass judgment (at least not openly) upon someone
for choosing inferior beer.
So where do you draw the line between looking down your
nose at those who prefer bad beer and being a touch persnickety when it comes
to choosing which malted-grain-based beverage to enjoy? Perhaps it has
everything to do with whether you’ve ever used the word “persnickety” in a
sentence. Or perhaps there is a logical way to separate snobs and nerds.
Let’s check the
Urban Dictionary:
Because anything that is worth anything in today’s day
and age has to have an Urban Dictionary entry, and it just so happens that “Beer Snob”
does:
1)
Those individuals who regard any beer that they
do not drink as <insert 4 legged mammal here> piss. Completely ignorant
of climate, context, and social class, beer snobs are contemptuously dismissive
of any beer that a mortal cannot walk across like Jesus Christ did across the
water. Beer snobs are tedious bores, assuming that any beer which doesn't meet
their definition of "adequately pretentious" is drunk out of
ignorance.
2)
The unfair term given to those who enjoy high
quality beer. They are often accused of being snobbish and looking down on
others, or are thought merely to drink beer of higher quality than Bud, Miller,
and Coors to feel or act superior to their peers. A better term is beer
connoisseur.
3)
An unfairly pejorative term for a connoisseur of
beer. Understands that not all beers are pale, tasteless lagers.
As you can see, there are multiple definitions, taken from what appear to be, different perspectives. At least Urban Dictionary is being fair and unbiased. Good for them.
Another opinion:
Here are some characteristics of a beer snob:
1)
A beer snob only drinks Belgians, IPA’s,
Imperial Stouts, etc. and believes it is beneath them to drink anything else.
2)
A beer snob laughs to himself when he sees
someone order anything but a micro.
3)
A beer snob wears designer jeans, a cardigan, a
sports-coat, and brand new loafers to enjoy their favorite brew.
4)
A beer snob has never considered home brewing.
5)
A beer snob only orders from the beer book
instead of what is on tap, and then orders a round of their favorite Belgian
Sour for their friends who don’t know what a sour beer is.
6)
A beer snob is an a$$hole.
Here are some characteristics of a beer nerd:
1)
A beer nerd drinks whatever their friends are
drinking.
2)
A beer nerd picks the beer with the funniest tap
handle.
3)
A beer nerd wonders why they picked the $10
imperial stout when their friend orders the delicious $2 PBR.
4)
A beer nerd wears their favorite brewery
T-shirt, Costco jeans, and a sweet pair of tennis shoes.
5)
A beer nerd can brew at home.
6)
A beer nerd asks the Bartender for a
recommendation.
7)
A beer nerd buys their friends a round without
them even knowing.
8)
A beer nerd is a good person.
By no means are the above lists all-inclusive, or are they universally true. If you’re like me, there are some items on the second list that I would never do. Fortunately for this blogger, I am never guilty of the items on the first list, so I guess that means I am doing a good job of hiding the snobbish tendencies that I probably do have. But if you want to continue to drink good beer only, and not lose your friends in the process, here are a few simple rules to follow:
Never:
1)
Say a beer tastes bad.
2)
Complain if the service is slow.
3)
Look down upon someone buying a beer that you
don’t like.
4)
Sniff a beer in public.
5)
Tell someone you have a great palate.
6)
Wear a cardigan.
Always:
1)
Offer a friend a taste.
2)
Practice Beer Karma. (buy a round for your
friend)
3)
Learn something new about beer.
4)
Ask people what their favorite beer is.
5)
Finish your beer. (Mom says “it’s just polite”)
6)
Try something new.
7)
Tip well. (Dollar a beer is good)
8)
Say Cheers.
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| Does it bring all the boys to the yard? |
Again, not 100% true all of the time, but the majority of
the suggestions listed above are good advice for at least appearing that you
are not a snob, but rather a nerd, about beer. And if you simply cannot admit
to being a nerd because you watched too many 80’s movies and are convinced that
the Neanderthal practice of beating-up nerds is correct, you can substitute the
words “lover, connoisseur, or enthusiast” in place of the word “nerd.”
And remember, in the end, all of this is based on
perception. You may not actually be exhibiting snobbish behavior, but may still
be perceived that way. The fact is, the craft beer revolution is steam rolling
along these days, and like all revolutions throughout history, people on the
entrenched side being revolted against are often stubborn and resistant to
change until the bitter end. Of course, the other question to ask yourself is, “do
I really care what inferior beer drinkers think of me?” If the answer is “no,”
then this entire point is moot anyways.
Blogger’s Notes:
The lists above were borrowed from Seattle’s Beer Blogger
in an article he wrote for Primer Magazine called The
Difference Between Beer Lovers and Beer Snobs: Which are You? You may
have noticed in my tone while presenting his lists that I don’t necessarily
agree with him on all points, but his opinion is useful to present multiple
viewpoints on the subject.
For additional reading on the topic of beer snobs versus
beer nerds, I suggest an article written by Frank Kelly Rich for Modern
Drunkard Magazine called The Subtle Art
of Beer Snobbery. This one discusses beer snobbery in contrast to the
much older practice of wine snobbery, and will have you describing inferior
beers as “having the nose and character of a harbor-town harlot with a penchant
for walking into walls caked with manure.” Great, albeit long, read.
Appendix:
And if you still aren’t satisfied with this very
comprehensive look at beer snobbery and beer nerd-dom, here’s a chart. Why? Cuz
charts rock!!! That’s why.
Admin Note:
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| I suppose the inclusion of this reference permanently cements my status as a nerd |
You may have noticed that this blog entry deviates from
my usual pattern of Saturday morning releases. Let this be a lesson to never
trust your Internet provider. They will inevitably betray you, and they will
quote Wash from Firefly as they do: "Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land, and
we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This
Land. I think we should call it your grave! Ah, curse
your sudden but inevitable betrayal! Ha ha.”
Here’s to craft-brewed happiness… Cheers!
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